Acknowledging the Unexpected

What happened here? Not what was expected...

Once upon a time, long ago, I worked for a boss who struggled with time management. She took a class and worked with a time-management coach, and he advised that each person in the office keep a daily list of unexpected events. My coworkers and I started doing this right away, because we were stressed out and eager to work on the time-management challenges we were having.

We were really surprised to discover exactly how many unexpected things just 'popped up' during each day. A client would call with a problem, a salesperson would stop by unexpectedly with a new product line, our boss would suddenly remember a project that she needed finished ASAP, or the copier would jam.

Writing down these unexpected events on our To Do lists seemed to give us more power over the situation. We could compare the tasks that we had planned to do with the new task that was now staring at us in the face, and decide which task took higher priority.

Often the unexpected event took precedence over what we had been working on before (our office certainly wouldn't have been able to function if we didn't take the time to fix the jammed copier!) Instead of feeling discouraged at the end of the day because of ruined plans, we could read our lists and count the unexpected events towards our productivity for the day: I helped a client, learned about a new product, finished my boss's project, and fixed the paper jam in the copier.

I'm finding that this same strategy can be applied to homemaking: if I take the time to acknowledge the time I spend each day on unexpected events, and count them towards my productivity for the day, I feel more empowered and in control of how I spend my time each day. I cleaned up the broken glass before someone got hurt, I rescheduled our plans so that I could care for my sick child, I got the car inspected on the last day before the sticker expired and avoided a ticket.

I also apply this strategy to larger periods of time. For instance, I haven't spent much time and effort on keeping up with clutter in my house this year. I think it is important to acknowledge the events (some expected, some unexpected) that have required additional focus and that have shifted my priorities away from this project.

My sister-in-law died in December. My close friend died in January. I'm still helping to go through my close friend's home and possessions and cooking meals for her college-age son.

I completed three large projects for my volunteer work in February, April and May--and I'm working on several new projects now.

By the end of this month, we'll have taken 9 separate trips since December--4 of them unexpected to some degree, but all worthwhile time spent connecting with family, friends, and each other.

By acknowledging that all of these events are important and realizing that I don't regret the time or effort spent on any of them, I realize that I have good reasons for not focusing on the projects I hoped to focus on so far this year. I can release feeling of guilt and powerlessness, and refocus on my goals with a fresh, positive attitude.

With all that said, I am off to finish prepping my new consignment pile, and a nice large Goodwill donation is on the horizon, too.

This plan works for me. What unexpected events have occurred in your life that you need to acknowledge and release?

Fitness Goals and Strategies 2011--and Wrapping up 2010

Things did not go as planned in November and December of 2010, to say the least. I managed to attend 13 Jazzercise classes in November, but when December arrived, chaos arrived with it, and I managed to attend only 3 classes in the first 17 days of the month before giving up entirely. (To give you an idea: One day my sister came to watch the kids so that I could work out, and I fell asleep sitting up on a chair rather than going to class!)

Total Classes Attended in 2010: 136

My total was 14 short of my goal--so close, yet so far away! If I hadn't given up, and I had gone twice a day in the last week of the month, etc., I would have made it... I probably would have collapsed as well.

It was hard to let go of my goal, but I think I made the right decision to prioritize some other things (including rest!) 2011 is a new year with plenty of time and opportunity to strive for new goals.

I am going to aim (yet again) for 150 classes. Seeing as November and December are such crazy months, I am going to aim to finish 140 of the 150 classes by the end of October. This works out to 14 classes per month for 10 months, or 3.5 classes per week. It's doable so long as I never get sick/injured, leave town, or lack childcare (aka Spouse late getting home from work...)

I've come up with new strategies to help me get to class more consistently:

• Write it on the calendar. Each week I will write down on the calendar when I plan to go to class, as well as other types of workouts (DVD, walking, bike riding. etc.).
• Go in the morning. I am not a morning person, but it has come to my attention that when I drag myself out of bed in the pitch darkness to get to a 7 AM class, it sets my day off to a great start. Sad but true! I want to do this at least once a week, ideally on Wednesdays. The Reward: I get to drink coffee on these days.
• Go on the weekend and on holidays whenever possible. Holidays and husband's days off are great times to fit in an extra workout.
• Do a double class once a month. I want to try to attend 2 classes back-to-back at least once a month. This will be challenging to schedule, but I think it will be worth it. I am very curious to see how many calories I can burn at a double class!
• Count calories. I plan to use my heart monitor watch to count how many calories I burn at each workout and add up the total calories burned each month. (Way more fun and much less time consuming than counting food calories, which I did only for a few months last year before burning out.)

I'm not including weight loss in my goals, but that doesn't mean that I couldn't stand to lose some weight. I learned over Christmas that 2 weeks of no workouts + copious amounts of Christmas Cookies, Chocolate, Standing Rib Roast, Yorkshire Pudding, Ham, snacks, pizza, potato chips, and more than a couple glasses of wine = About 4 Pounds.

I don't do well with dieting or weigh-ins, or other such strategies. I either overdo it and don't eat enough, or get frustrated when attempting to track changes. My strategy is to boost my mood and energy with consistent exercise and eat what I like, moderately, while not paying too much attention to a scale.

I'm hopeful that this plan will hold together for 2011! I'll post montly updates.

Holiday Prep: Review Last Year

Somehow I managed to schedule a pop-up reminder telling me to review the notes I made about Christmas 2009 back in January when I was clearing up Christmas. The notes are just a single page Word document with reviews of how things went, reminders for this upcoming year, and a few ideas of new things to try. It's like having a conversation with a past verson of myself to help jog my memory regarding various and sundry Christmas Stuff that I otherwise won't think of until it's too late.

I'm hoping this miscellaneous list will spare me a few emergency trips to the store and help me to plan a little better than last year; for instance, I need to recognize that gift wrapping will take 6-8 hours and it would be best to schedule time to get the wrapping done during the day rather than staying up all night one night, all the way past sunrise. (I had no idea it would take that long! And yes, I have a very big family and we do quite a bit of gift exchanging. And no, I am too neurotic to use gift bags in most cases.)

It's one way that I am trying to get prepared for the holidays.

Holiday Prep: A Series

I have a rule about Christmas. The rule is that Christmas must be contained to the month of December. This means that any and all Christmas decorations must not go up until after my birthday (Dec 9th), and must come down during as soon as possible after New Years Day. Christmas Shopping and Shipping are properly done in December. Holiday Photos are taken in December, holiday cards are written and mailed in December...

I really like this rule because it makes me prioritize and limit Christmas Activities. I enjoy the holiday season, but one month's worth is plenty for me. At the same time, it seems like there is more and more to do to get ready for the holidays each year. As our family grows, and I volunteer to help at school, AND I entertain more around the holidays, I've found that I must be very organized and cheat bend the rules as much as possible if I want to get ANY sleep at all during the month of December!

I am going to share a few of my Holiday Preparation tips during the upcoming weeks in the hopes that they will be as helpful to others as they have been for me.

Yard Sale and Consignment Deja Vu

I'm having somewhat of a deja vu experience this month. Just like this past spring, I am participating in a consignment sale and a yard sale all in the same week!

The consignment sale is a set event that occurs twice a year, and I am exhaustedly pleased to report that I pulled together just under 100 items to take to the sale: kids' clothing, snow bibs/boots, videos/DVDs/toys, and a few other miscellaneous items, including those items pictured above--except for the 18-wheeler truck, which was withdrawn from the sale by my packrat son. (Has he played with this truck in the past 2 years? No! Will he play with it again after today? No! Sigh.)

The Yard Sale is actually something a friend of mine is putting together, and she has kindly invited others to sell items at her sale. I have just a few larger items in mind to add to the sale, but it will save me having to list items on Craigslist and arrange individual pickups, etc.

I'm glad to have these extra motivators to keep me focused on Stuff Elimination, because I've been looking at my calendar and there is a lot going on in the next few months. I want to continue purging through the end of the year to complete my Declutter Challenge, but I have to be realistic about the lack of available time and energy I'm going to have to devote to the project. It is probably realistic to predict that October is going to be my last 'big' selling month of the year.

Navigating a Sick Day

Imagine some lovely picture here, which I would post if my daughter hadn't broken the camera lens. :)

Just when I thought I was getting back into a routine, the germs have invaded. My son (age 6) is home from school for a few days while fighting a low grade fever. I'm trying to keep my daughter (age 4) on her regular schedule. She might have been sick last week, possibly, it's hard to tell with her. She's the one who brings the germs home and spreads them around the family yet doesn't get sick herself. Her medical history is the most boring form to fill out, but it's fast--there's never anything to report!

While I am writing this, my kids are running around throwing a large plastic shark at one another. Clearly, my son isn't sick enough to be tucked into bed, so I've been trying to figure out what is going to keep us occupied until he is fever-free and well enough to return to school, other than movies and computer time.

• Playing Cards- My son would play cards with me all day if I would let him. His current favorite is Rummy 500, although he also likes Uno and a game that we call 'Slap and Tickle'. I'm going to teach him to play Gin Rummy tomorrow.
• Thank-you notes- We have a few notes to finish up sending to friends and relatives after the kids' recent birthdays. (Will the germs transfer on the notes? Hmmm.... Maybe I should do the envelope sealing...)
• Lego Sort- My son and I spent an entire sick day last year sorting his Legos by color, and then building one of his sets. He was in heaven.
• Call Grandma- It's a great time to make some surprise midday calls to relatives to catch up--if they are retired, etc. Although if I get desperate, we may bother Daddy at work.
• Puppy Show- My daughter and I may hold a Puppy Show (instead of puppets) to entertain my son if everyone gets particularly whiny and crabby.

After his fever breaks and before he returns to school, I have a few other plans in mind:

• Clothes Shopping- My son is very picky when it comes to clothes. He is very sensitive to tags, collars, etc., and he is very particular about how clothes fit his body. I've been trying to figure out a good time to take him to the store to try things on and this may be the time!
• Lunch Out- I know that both kids will enjoy going out to lunch one day, if it works out.
• Baking- If we are making something just for our family, not to share, he can help me bake some cookies, bread, or muffins.

Again, I won't take him out and about in public until his fever breaks and he is fully on the mend. No need to spread his bug through the stores and restaurants if we can help it!

Many of these things are activities that we like to do but don't have much time for in the average week. Instead of viewing these Sick Days as a hindrance to my plans, I try to see them as an opportunity to spend some special time with my kids, providing them with interesting activities while their bodies rest and heal.

Fitness Goals Update: July

Despite being out of town for a total of 9 days in July, I managed to drag myself to aerobics class a total of 11 times, which works out to about every other day. It was 5 less that my goal to attend 16 classes and 'win' the flip-flop bag set. Supplies are still available, so maybe I will be able to win them just a bit late if I can go enough times this week. (Need to go 3 more times...)

Total Attended in July: 11 classes

Total for 2010 as of July 31st: 84 classes

I would really like to get ahead with my class count in August so that I have a bit more breathing room when things get really busy this fall. Things working in my favor:

• August is a long month with 5 weekends if you count this past weekend.
• We are NOT going out of town this month. (Whew! That's what hurts my totals the worst, I think)
• I might make it to some morning classes as I have been waking up earlier and feeling restless. (Attending 7 AM aerobics class is a rare and amazing event for me.)

I have hopes that this will be a great fitness month for me, not only for the reasons above, but also because I have started Counting Calories for the first time in my life. Ever. I won't go so far as to call it a 'diet', more an Increased Awareness of portions. I'm currently using Daily Plate, which seems to be working well thus far (for the past 3 days). I'm hoping that this food record will help me to pinpoint what I need to eat in order to keep my energy levels consistently high, since that has been a problem for me occasionally.

At the Beach

(Photo by my BIL)

I'll be back next week. :)

What's Your Motivation? I'm Overwhelmed

Over the past few months I've been thinking about what motivates me, and so far I've written about how deadlines help me to focus and get things done. As our family has made the transition into summer, I have become completely overwhelmed trying to keep up with everything that is going on.

A sample of my thoughts:

• School's Out! My son is finally home from all-day kindergraten as of 3 weeks ago. This is great, because now the kids are around more to go out and have fun together. At the same time, hanging out and having fun with the kids takes up a lot of time, and sucks away any inclination I have to be productive.
• The Landscaping Project: Our big household project for 2010 is focused on the outdoors. We have replaced the front stoop, buried rain gutter runoff pipes, raised and adjusted grade levels to improve drainage, installed rain barrels, enlarged the driveway, etc. I've been working on this project for almost a year, and for the past 3 weeks our yard has been a noisy, dusty construction site. Although the stonework and grading steps are finished, we have yet to plant any actual landscaping. I hope to post more about this project in the coming weeks, as I'm really excited about it, but recently it has been incredibly stressful and time consuming!
• Beach Trip Preparation: We are off to the beach near the end of the month, and I need to get a few things ready, including a meal for 24 of my closest relatives.

These are just a few of the highlights of all of the problems, projects, and plans knocking around in my brain (and my house!). Lately I've been feeling like I've been running in place; I've been lost between a long list of possibilties and feeble attempts to make plans for implementation.

Finally I had to sit down and just clean out my brain. I took a small calendar and started making lists. Not just one list, but numerous lists. Whatever came into my mind that I needed to do, wanted to do, or wished I could do, I put it down. I didn't try to schedule it for a particular day, I just put it all together on an older page. You can see a picture of what I ended up with above.

One list is the official 'Things to Do' list, literally listing all of the things I need to do in the next few days, whether calling or emailing someone, errands, or things around the house. I also came up with a 'House Projects' list, which had more detail about things I need to do around the house that are more than basic upkeep. I also had a 'Wish List' which simply listed things that I wish I could have or do, from the beautiful flower bouquets I saw at the farmer's market to making my own flower garden for cutting flowers.  I even had a list of 'Things to Buy', including anything from household items to birthday gifts. If something occurred to me, I wrote it down. If it didn't fit in any of the lists I had started, I started a new list.

Writing all of this down was such a relief, because it took the pressure off me to remember everything, and it allowed me to prioritize and consider everything that I could be doing to help  me decide where and when I need to spend my time doing things. As a result, I had a reasonably productive day yesterday and made quite a bit of headway in a number of different areas.

There's still a ton off stuff to do, though!

What's Your Motivation? Deadlines

One thing I know about myself is that I am really good at thinking up and starting projects. Finishing them is a different story altogether, and I am always trying to get better at finishing what I start.

Finishing projects around the house can be especially challenging because there aren't always specific deadlines around the home. Will the world end if the bathroom isn't cleaned today? Will daily life really be impacted if no one goes through the boxes down in the storage room? The exception would be meals (lest the ravenous hordes revolt) and emergencies, because yes, life will be impacted if nothing is done regarding the flood in the basement.

I've found it helpful to fabricate my own deadlines to help me move through tasks more efficiently. A few strategies I use include:

• Entertaining: Somehow household tasks move up the priority list if I'm expecting people over, so when I'm feeling behind and unmotivated, sometimes I'll just invite some people over. It doesn't have to be a big party or anything; even a simple playdate will motivate me to vacuum and wipe down the bathroom. (You can ask the people who visit me: when they come to the door I am often finishing up the hall bath!)
• Time Sensitive Rewards: I promise myself a reward if something gets done before a specified time. More on this later.
• External Rewards: The latest example is that I reserved an energy efficient appliance rebate through our state rebate program. We have talked about buying a new refrigerator for years now, but we haven't followed through. Why? Because despite the fact that the fridge that we had was not meeting my needs AND using much more energy than newer models, it wasn't broken. I kept wishing it would break, but it wasn't cooperative. I'm happy to report that the rebate prodded us into moving forward with the appliance purchase.

 Whatever deadlines you fabricate for your household, be sure that they are realistic and doable for you.

 

What's Your Motivation? An Exploration

I am still trying to get back on track after being derailed last month. I feel like there is so much I want to get done, but at the same time, I don't want to do any of it.

It doesn't really make a lot of sense!

My list of things to do typically includes two types of tasks: fun things that I want to do, and boring things that I don't want to do. I can usually motivate myself to do the unsavory tasks by 'rewarding' myself with the opportunity to do the things that I want to do (which are often a lot of work, not leisure activities). This system falls apart when I don't even have the motivation to do the tasks that I want to do.

For instance, sometimes I will assign myself a project to do and motivate myself to do it by planning to blog about it afterwards. I've pushed myself to work on a lot of things as a result of this blog! The problem is when I get so restless and unmotivated that I can't focus on writing--instead I go and read everyone else's blogs, then feel discouraged because my own blog is sitting idle.

I'm hoping that consciously acknowledging this struggle will help me to reconnect with my enjoyment of keeping my home and making progress on my goals and projects. I'm going to keep thinking about this challenge and explore what keeps me motivated (and what throws me off course) in future posts. Feel free to join the discussion in the comment sections!

Derailment

Over the past two weeks, my life got completely derailed. I thought I could hold it all together despite going out of town two weekends in a row, then teaching a 16-hour training class on the following weekend. During this time I slipped up in my fitness routine, too (a combination of traveling and losing both teen sitters I was using weekly to fit in more workouts).

I'm pretty good at staying on top of things even during hectic times, and I almost made it through.

Then I learned that one of my ex-boyfriends died by suicide almost 2 weeks ago. I hadn't seen or heard from him in over eight years, but the situation was a very sad and tragic one, and he left his wife and two very young children behind.

Despite the fact that I hadn't been in touch with my ex, I still found that I needed time to process and to grieve for his passing. I didn't realize this right away, rather the need to think about and talk about his loss grew in the back of my mind while I continued to hold everything together and navigate through my weekend training class.

The irony is that the class I taught is called ASIST: Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training, otherwise known as training in suicide first aid. As I learned more about what had happened to my ex-boyfriend and how long he had been in crisis, it was painful to think that maybe I could have done something to help him had I known he needed help.

It takes time to process all of these thoughts. A lot of time mulling over the past, present, and what the future holds for my ex's family and friends. I felt the need to pay my respects at his memorial service and to help connect his family with the postvention services offered by my organization. I was even moved to reconnect with some other past friends by activating my account on a social networking site. (I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm happy to report that I've connected with some friends and exes from the past and everyone seems to be doing well.)

It got to the point that I was having trouble physically keeping up with everything that was happening. I was moving in slow motion, my energy level like a slug's. Our household came skidding to a halt as all of my energy was burned up to bits.

I did make it to a doctor appointment and learned that I am in good health and have a nice slow heart rate, which probably contributes to my lack of energy sometimes. I am also in the middle of reading a book called The Mood Cure by Julia Ross. I've learned that my great idea to eat salad every day is partially to blame for my energy crash, in addition to breaking my mild caffeine habit cold-turkey. Oops.

I've been taking things one day at a time, focusing on thinking, talking, resting, and protein, protein, protein. I think I'm ready to hit the ground running again, and to take up all the projects and tasks I've neglected over the past month. (Ask me how much decluttering I've done this month, for example!)

I'll be honest: part of me is not thrilled to have lost so much productive time over the past few weeks. It was tempting to just push my thoughts and feelings aside and distract myself by keeping busy. I think that most people find that this coping method only works temporarily. I owed it to the memory of my ex-boyfriend to take a time-out on my own life to grieve for the loss of his. To carry on as usual would be to devalue the meaning of his life and death. I only wish that I could have done something to help before it was too late.

Help is out there! Our hotline answers the National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK. Please consider calling if you or someone you know is experiencing a crisis or thinking about suicide. Break the silence.

-Michelle

Make Your Own Salad Dressing

I like to think that I provide nutritious food for my family. We eat mainly whole grains, whether brown rice, whole wheat pasta, or whole grain breads/flours (with the exception for some baked treats that don't convert well to whole grain flours). We strive to eat a variety of fruits and vegetables each day, although the 'variety' factor is negligible for certain family members. We eat generally lean proteins, including beans and legumes, and include vegetarian and fish meals in our meal rotation.

The weaker areas in the menu plan appear to be our sugar intake (too high) and our salad intake (too low).

I have all sorts of salad excuses. I know I should make them, I know I should eat them, BUT:

• Washing the lettuce is time consuming.
• Chopping the vegetables is time consuming.
• EATING the salad is time consuming (although this may be the point: to slow down and fill up while avoiding the temptation to consume more higher-caloric portions of the meal).
• The salad dressings we have are unappetizing aka gross.

Am I the only person who has a shelf like this in the refrigerator?

These are the Ghosts of Salads Past: store-bought salad dressings purchased over the years in an attempt to find enjoyable yet nutritious options. You don't even want to know how old these dressing bottles are. Between my percieved lack of patience for salad preparation and lack of appetizing dressing options, I hardly ever bother to make a salad to go with a meal. Who would with such a pitiful selection of congealed preservatives waiting to be added on top?

I want to change this trend. If I prep 4-5 days worth of greens at a time, it will save time when I am trying to put dinner on the table. If I put a bit of salad on my children's plates each night, perhaps they will learn that vegetables don't have to be steam-cooked to be enjoyed. Lastly, if I have a delicious, preservative-free, home made dressing on hand to add to the salad, perhaps I will feel more motivated to eat it.

My grandmother eats a salad nearly every day, and she makes her own salad dressings on a regular basis. Since warm weather is approaching, I am planning to replace making my Soup of the Week with preparing a variety of her homemade salad dressings.

As for the sugar intake issue, stay tuned. First I have to deal with the influx of treats that arrived with The Bunny.

My Spring Break Vacation

I had a lot of fun on my Spring Break Vacation this past week. I wasn't expecting to be on vacation per se; we didn't have specific plans to take a trip or a break from routine life, but that is what happens apparently when you ask your kids what they would like to do (Answers: go to the toy store, go to the movie theatre, eat hamburgers and ice cream at every opportunity, and play!)

We toured exhibits...

Went bike riding...

Had Easter events with family...

and many other fun activities. We went out to eat quite a bit and disregarded stodgy old rules like 'Bedtime'. Unfortunately, none of our fun plans included things such as housework, preparing for the upcoming yard and consignment sales, or blogging. I'm feeling a little out of whack and VERY Behind Schedule. I need to get back on track!

Procrastination Can Be Good

Procrastination isn't all bad, I think. Our culture focuses so much on keeping busy and looking productive rather than thinking, preparing, and anticipating. If your mind isn't ready to focus on the task at hand, working on the task may be just as 'unproductive' as procrastinating. Or worse: if you are mindlessly completing tasks without thinking about the bigger picture, you may end up doing something that will be unnecessary or obsolete in the longer term.

I dislike discovering I've 'wasted time' doing something that was going to be undone anyway, like when I wash a load of whites and then realize that there was a hamper full of additional whites upstairs that should have been laundered in the same load. (A waste of water and energy!)

The Free Dictionary reports a definition of procrastination as,

To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.

I guess it's true that sometimes I am putting off doing something because I am enjoying some down time, but I don't think of procrastination as being non-productive every time. I can think of a lot of tasks that I have completed while I was procrastinating about doing something else.

Most every large school assignment I completed in college was preceded by every other thing I could think to do. Sure, that meant I watched some movies or went out with friends, but it also meant that I did all my laundry or cleaned the walls in our dingy apartment bathroom. There was something about sitting down to write or study in an orderly space that helped me to focus. The time spent cleaning often didn't require a lot of brain power and I was able to think about what I was going to say or focus on when the time came to sit down.

These days I am just as likely to forget about something that I need to do as procrastinate about it. My mind is constantly shifting from here and now tasks of child and home care to planning our schedule in advance, working on my volunteer work, attempting to progress in my declutter challenge, etc. etc. I don't have a perfect system for keeping track of everything, but generally things don't slip through the cracks of my mind for too long at a time.

When I do procrastinate about something, it is usually for one of three reasons:

• I dread performing the task; I'm not in the mood.
• I feel uncomfortable about doing the task (it is something unfamiliar or awkward)
• I'm undecided about the task; is this really what I want to do? I'm hesistant about making a commitment.

When I'm procrastinating because I am dreading or feeling uncomfortable about the task, often it helps to commit to forging ahead. I find it motivating to promise myself a reward--and usually the reward is to work on a task that I want to work on. I say to myself, "You can't work on your fun stuff until you do this yucky tedious stuff first."

When I recognize that I my procrastination is due to feeling undecided or noncommittal, I continue to hold off. Maybe my feelings of procrastination are trying to tell me that something is a bad idea. Something time sensitive will pressure me to make a decision one way or another, for anything else procrastination will be the decision itself. Holding off when I'm procrastinating about something has avoided numerous purchases that we didn't really want or need, and I've avoided starting projects that I hadn't thought through far enough.

It can be really useful to procrastinate in order to work up to something mentally challenging or to recognize in your procrastination a sense of hesitation. Or it may just be a beautiful day, a perfect opportunity to delay your To Do List and live for the moment.

I won't even tell you how long I procrastinated on writing this blog post.

Time For Tea

I have a confession to make. The reason I didn't complete my Freezer Cooking Day plan earlier in the week was because I promised my daughter we would have a tea party!

My grandmother used this set of china specifically for hosting tea parties with me when I was little. The mugs of the set are tiny--like a cappuccino mug, which makes them perfect for little hands. She gave me the set when I outgrew the tea party stage, and I have saved them over the years in anticipation of a day like the one the other day.

I decided that I wanted to drink an actual cup of tea during our tea party, so I made some Cranberry Apple Tea with a few tea bags in a tea pot. We needed something to put in the cream pitchers, so we used apple juice, which could be poured into the tea to cool it--and also to sweeten it for the non-tea drinkers at the party (like my daughter). I scrounged up a few snacks for us to munch on--I mean, to eat daintily while talking in 'proper' voices.

Our other guests included some of Julie's favorite animal friends:

Including Mommy Dinosaur who likes to eat Goldfish (she has one in her mouth):

And I was required to wear at hat.

It was a lovely party!

Vegetarian Freezer Cooking with a 3 Year Old

As I explained previously, I didn't have a big block of time to do my Freezer Cooking, so I decided to try and fit it around life. As a result, I did some of my cooking over the weekend while prepping for a dinner party, and the rest I didn't have time to do until today (Wednesday) because I was too busy taking pictures of my amazing new basement processing room! I didn't intend to do all vegetarian cooking, but that is what we ended up doing as I don't have much meat in the house.

Fortunately, my 3 year old daughter Julia was feeling helpful (rather than oppositional) and she helped me cook for 2 hours! I was really impressed with her ability to focus and follow instructions. She likes to peel garlic cloves, which is wonderful, because I find it quite tedious...

When you're working with a little one helping, I try to follow a few guidelines:

• Keep the projects small and doable, and recognize that it will take much longer than usual to prepare a recipe. I intentionally made smaller amounts of food than I would make on my own.
• Don't rush. If you are crunched for time, it is not a good time for your child to be helping you!
• When giving instructions, be very specific, and use visual cues (demonstrate pouring into the bowl, etc.)
• Expect a mess.
• Give little jobs, such as taking items to the trash can, but also give 'big' jobs within reason. This will boost their confidence when they see that you are confident they can do something. I was a little nervous about a few things Julia did today, such as pouring bowls of chopped veggies into the soup pot (she has a history of either missing or dropping the bowl in the pot!) but I gave her a chance and she did a good job. She wouldn't improve without practice!
• Don't get mad when someone makes a mistake or mess, even when you make one! (I'm the one who spilled quinoa all over the counter...)

Here's what we achieved:

• Lasagna (Vegetarian Version): It was so easy to split this recipe between an 11x7 pan (for my dinner party) and an 8x8 (for the freezer). To make it vegetarian, simply omit the ground meat! This batch was also gluten-free because I used Brown Rice noodles.
• Strawberry Bread: This recipes makes two large loaves, so one I served as dessert for the dinner, and the other I quickly stowed in the freezer before it was inhaled. (I'll post this recipe soon...)
• Creamy Enchilada Casserole: My daughter put the tortillas in the pan, sprinkled the cheese and green onion, and helped me make the refried bean mixture and cheese sauce. My freezer is too full for this to fit, so we'll serve it for dinner tomorrow.
• Quesadillas: My daughter sprinkled cheese, folded, and stacked them between wax paper slips for the freezer. (She also counted them: we made 7, which is enough for 2 lunches) These weren't in the plan, but we were out of them, Julie likes to make them, and they're easy.
• Quinoa Vegetable Soup: This soup is vegan and delicious! My daughter enjoyed pouring vegetables in the pot, stirring, adding spices, etc. I kept the heat on very low and stayed right next to her the entire time to make sure she didn't burn herself. It took much longer to cook everything, but she was safer and happy helping me. This recipe makes maybe 10 cups of soup? I'll freeze it in 2-cup batches and it will be enough for 4-5 lunches, I think.
• Multi-Grain Pancake Mix: Julie took a break while I quickly mixed up a new batch of the dry pancake mix that we like. The recipe is from The Vegetarian Mother's Cookbook and includes whole wheat, buckwheat, barley, brown rice, and corn flours. We made 8 cups: enough for 4 breakfasts plus a few leftover for snacks. Fortunately this will keep in the pantry, because the freezer is small and officially full!

Here is a picture of the fruits of our labors, including the wonderful Baked Ziti with Mini Meatballs that I made last week with a friend during a play date. (I have a Cooking Play Date tomorrow with a different friend and we are going to make another vegetarian meal from The Vegetarian Mother's Cookbook: Ratatouille!)

I love to gloat over my freezer stash! You can see others' reports here over at Money Saving Mom.

Just Get it Done: How Long Will It Take?

You have 30 minutes before you have to be somewhere/do something. Quick! What are you going to do with that time?

Okay, you could sit down and goof off. That would definitely be my first choice, too! Let me rephrase the question: What tasks can you do around the house, finishing the task yet not being late for your next commitment?

This is what I am trying to figure out. There is a list of stuff that needs to be done around here, and it is never completely finished. That is not the nature of taking care of a home, at least not for our family. Around here everything is in fluid motion, the kitchen is clean now, but it gets used extensively almost every night. I 'finish' the laundry only to turn around and find a new pile of clothes that need to be washed. I'll admit, I am a control freak, and it took a while for me to get used to the fact that nothing stays 'finished' when you have an active household.

Still, I can't say that I want to spend the majority of my time stomping on the top of the housekeeping To Do List. I want to complete  these necessary tasks effectively and efficiently so that I can focus on The Rest of my Life, which is far more interesting anyway. I want to know: How Long Will It Take? If I know it takes 15 minutes to clean my wood floors, then I can get that done when I have 15 minutes before I have to leave the house rather than waiting until a bigger block of time comes along. The bigger block of time can be used for something else, such as going to the park. Knowing that I have only 15 minutes will also motivate me to get it done quickly--maybe I'll set a new record for myself, or at least I'll do the task with a sense of purpose rather than dragging through it and taking longer time (aka Wasting Time that I could use doing something enjoyable!)

Here are some timing records I am working with right now:

• Sweeping Main Level (with a broom; includes fast toy pickup and moving a few furniture pieces): 15 Minutes
• Mopping Main Level (ideally after sweeping!): 15 minutes
• Vacuuming both flights of stairs (I hate doing this.): A mere 12 minutes!
• Cleaning The Bathroom (full cleaning): 35 minutes <--This time needs to improve. I'm experimenting with breaking it up into smaller segments to make it more doable.

These times include the complete task as well as set up and put away (vacuum, cleaning supplies, etc.) What these times do NOT include are Interruptions. You know, the phone ringing, the kids fighting or 'helping', etc. The shorter the amount of time a task takes, the less likely I am to be interrupted. The more I can fit productive tasks  into the little slivers of time between bigger events, the more 'free' time I will have. Or so I hope! I'll check in occasionally and report how this experiment is going.

Lots of moneymaking, what about homemaking?

Last week I read this article and it really got me thinking. On one hand, it's nice to hear that men are adding financial advantage to the list of benefits when they marry (we already knew that marriage is likely to lengthen their life-span, etc.). But there was one quote in particular that stood out to me:

 "We've seen a historical shift in the marriage bargain since the mid-20th century," said Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University who has studied marriage extensively. "The old bargain was that the husband earned the money and the wife took care of the home. The new bargain is that both work, and they pool their incomes."

This sounds great: more money means more financial stability and more shared decision-making for married couples. But a little voice in the back of my head couldn't help asking: "Who is taking care of the home in the new bargain?" That important task seemed to disappear out of the equation in Mr. Cherlin's explanation.

The answer seems obvious: couples in this scenario are doing so well that they must be hiring out many of the tasks necessary around the home, right? This isn't always the case, as evidenced by columnist Petula Dvorak's reaction to this reasearch. Women in general still do more around the home than men, and are still usually taking the lead in determining what needs to be done. I find it very sad that women are reporting feeling unhappy despite being (as a whole) better educated and better employed than in years past.

She follows up this column with additional discouraging news about some parents who at some point in their career are paying to work, due to the high cost of childcare. I doubt these families are hiring out household tasks if they are working so hard just to make ends meet.

And here I read about one working mother's quest to identify the leisure time in her life. Brigid Schulte states, "I never feel I do any one thing particularly well." because she always has so much on her plate. Clearly Mom is still doing a whole lot in addition to bringing home all this extra bacon; although I also acknowledge there are many men who are stepping up to do their share of parenting and home making, whether their spouses earn an income or not.
Now I know that there are plenty of families out there to whom these statistics and observations don't apply, but it frightens me to think about how difficult it is for women and mothers to balance everything expected from them and still retain a sense of fulfillment and an opportunity for leisure time that feels refreshing and rejuvenative, unlike waiting for a tow truck on the side of the road for two hours.

I don't have any answers, or even suggestions. I'm trying to do what works for me any my family for the present, but our needs will change in future years, and I can only hope I will be able to figure out how to handle the changes while still hanging on to some quality of home life and leisure time for myself and my family.


Thoughts?